my dEary aunt, farEwEll.

*

Been months or a year we lost the touch

A lot of things we never got to do

Cruel fate has sadistically passed off

Many conversations we never got thru

*

A heart of hearts stopped beating

Two twinkling eyes closed to rest

From ur face, worries and fears all have gotten out

God broke my heart to prove he only took the best

*

Hundreds of times i needed you, my aunt
Hundreds of times i mourned and cried
If love from us alone could have saved you
you, my deary aunt, never would have died

*

Death only ended your life, not the warmth of my love

Thou i never got to say goodbye, which was the worst part

The loss of you will never dies inside me

Cuz i know when you left, secretly, you waved to my heart

*

sElf compromising

Every new single starting-out,

Comes from some startings end.

Every then-and-now i joined the game,

I wasn't being played with a fair extent.

Have ya ever persisted devoting with some1

Who hurted your heart

And ya anyhow sticked with them

For you was unable bearing to part?
!

Every time i tried to close the door,

...Moment passed,

I still wanted to see that same door opened.

And for i've always been so clear as glass.

Have ya ever attempted to be forward-moving

With a true longing to forget

While your head is advising you

That you will regret?

Every word i wanted to be meant 'goodbye'

Different words were mouthed.

With another madness erased,

I every now and then surrendered my shouts.

Have ya ever tried to march-on

With wounds which are hard to heal

And make-believe things are all right

When, still, there's great deal of pain you could feel?

!

!

rEbuilding,

parts of mE

Part of me feels like i've never undergone thru that emo.

Images from recent memories flash across the dim of the evening.
Scene after scene, this heart is felt as being drilled.
Hole after hole, pain is growing too heavy to bear; can't let go.

Part of me tells how 'encountering' shall never be soon again seen.

But, the passing of days makes it even more unbearable.

Mindlessly hoping for the light at the end of the tunnel,

there the lack of self-sureness is just no longer weighing in.

Part of me often proves people wrong over my writing and speech.
Through words of mouth, no one knows i am a fragile sum1,
just like a thin piece of lace, they saw me as a solid string.
Only when the misery takes place, here's all about the breach.

Part of me reminds me of those pasts where failures rained down.
One record of failing at a time, memory stained my history.
As much as experiences hurted me: in a strange way, i needed it.
'That which hurts also instructs.', a saying said; and that's how it sounds.

!

!

rEbuilding,

an autumn aftEnoon - day sixth

Today's Autumn afternoon has grown so cold and windy.
I woke up late feeling happy blended with dizzy.
Having tried to touch keyboards to describe the feeling.
But too bad i could not sense all of my sudden well-being...
~
The Autumn afternoon had withdrawn into itself.
And left me feeling frozen inside like a gel.
Raindrops kept pouring into existence from a leaking sky.
Polishing off my idle mind as later the grey afternoon turned bright...
~
The wind had blown the rain into nonentity.
That looked as if the 2 nature things trying to conquer the territory.
I could soon tell how fast the rain would disappear.
Just as the wind blustering torrential rain with no fear...
~
'Wind' and 'rain' are seemed the afternoon's two metaphors.
Which keeps urging on me to battle in life like going to a real war.
And though at times menaces may somehow take place.
Unlike a prisoner, i then sure won't surrender with a disgrace...
~
I've learnt a past can't be changed and a future is still in my list.
Finger crossed, one day i could soon make it accomplished.
There is no corner, no dark place, no room a desire can't be fulfilled.
And if the world starts causing waves, it's our devotion that makes them still...
~
Here're all the thoughts the afternoon has taught and reminded.
With the two metaphors of 'wind' and 'rain' which are combined.
By inducing a hope this self have thrilled to thrive.
I just keep prompting myself, i will live each day to come with no alibi...

~

rEbuilding

a prEvailing silEncE

From a look through the window,

All i could see is ill-defined shadow.

With the dim sight my eyes trying to catch,

Silence - the only thing that veritably matches.

~

In silence I've created a state of suspense,
And i have been damned with my own absence.
I am yet singing in silence a golden song,
As thou to heal all my ancient wrongs.

This complete silence i sense from the air,
You are but what i'm wordlessly scared.
You tell me that nothing is remained,
So i realise this should be the end of my plans.

As silence whispers in my ears,
I feel guilty to let go of what i should've kept near.
Now, tears are watering in my eyes,
As i am sitting here in silence with no surprises.

All everything is but a memory,

That dwindles as each day passes by me.

So.... speeches become stale,

My silence is progressively prevailed.

rEbuilding,

plEase

plz love me today and love me tomorrow
plz love me till i forget all my sorrows.

plz kiss me and make the painful wounds in my heart go away
plz kiss me and tell me everything will soon be okay.

plz hold me and hug me tightly close to you
plz hold me and whisper sweet words that are true.

plz cuddle me and lay me on your bed
plz cuddle me from my toes to my head.

plz trust me for that i sometimes lose my temper
plz trust me everytime i tell you my whisper.

plz love me, kiss me, hold me, cuddle me, & trust me more
and if you can't do that at least for once then just let me through that door.

rEbuildinG,

timE and timE again

Time and time again,
there's never enough time for everyone.

Time and time again,

there's never enough time to care.

Time and time again,

there's never enough time to love.

Time and time again,

there's never enough time to write.

Time and time again,

there's never enough time to read.

Time and time again,
there's never enough time to learn.

Time and time again,

there's never enough time to lead.

Time and time again,

there's never enough time to play.

Time and time again,

there's never enough time to sleep.

Time and time again,

there's never enough time to talk.

Time and time again,

there's never enough time to try.

Time and time again,
there's never enough time to want.

Time and time again,

there's never enough time to make a difference.

....
.... ....
.... .... .... ....
.... .... ....
.... .... ....
.... .... ....
.... .... ....
.... .... .... ....
.... ....
....

Time and time again,
there`s always time to get hurt.

Time and time again,

there`s always time to wonder.

Time and time again,

there`s always time to be silly.

Time and time again,

there`s always time to cause mistake.

Time and time again,

there`s always time to be sad.

Time and time again,

there`s always time to get blame.

Time and time again,

there`s always time to be mad.

Time and time again,

there`s always time to feel sorry.

Time and time again,

there`s always time to work.

Time and time again,

there`s always time to feel guilty.

Time and time again,

there`s always time to lose.

Time and time again,

there`s always time to be disappointed.

Time and time again,

there`s always time for no one, WHY?!?

rEbuildinG,

who is shE?

When i stop walking

she pushes against my back,
telling me to move forward....

When i look behind me
she blows in my face,
telling me not to look back....

When i get upset
she taps me on my shoulder,
telling me to let it be....

When i get angry
she soothes me,
telling me it's not worth it....

When i feel lonely
she's always there for me,
telling me i still have her...

When i cry
she dries my tears,
telling me it will all be okay....

When i whisper a secret
she listens,
telling me she will keep it safe....

When i blow a kiss
she takes it,
telling me it will reach the one i love....

Whatever i do
she reacts,
telling me what i need to hear....

....
....
....

Whatever she does
i treasure,
telling her back that she's my HALF!

*

*

rEbuildinG,*

*

PS: Who is she? She's alive, but not a living being. If only.... there's someone out there....

Tirk muoy dom norkk - poEm

One of our greatest fears in life is that of losing someone we love. It does count from simple friends to real soulmates. This fear plagues us from our childhood and continues to do so all through adulthood. So, if you love someone, you say it, you say it right then, out loud, or the moment just passes by you. If it doesn't work out or even work out not that long as desired just let it be cus love may start as the strongest passion but when time passes and the storm of emotions calms down, relationships once so bright and full of surprises become routine. It drags on for a while and then comes crisis. A couple can either survive through it or fall apart. I am yet in no way illustrating myself via the following poem. Just in case for any of the readers who has lost a loved one or will expect to lose a loved one, this poem would in some ways matchs your heartache.

g

---------------------------------------------------------

Tirk muoy dom norkk

Tirk sarb muoy torkk

srorkk khnong samut

pi bark bom phot

neng bon sarb barn.

g

phkar rus rouy heury

mdech leouy breor brarn

kro pum tiet barn

douch derm vinh te.

mjass snae khngum eury

oun neng barn ke

ter song-khim te

rir kor yang na.

g

bang teorng song-khim

khnong pheap soa-kar

tha jamm ji va

tiang khmean song-khim.

rEbuildinG,

PS: pls refer to me with any of my Khmer-english words you do not understand via the below comment section.

lonEly Christmas

Lonely at Christmas
Lonely at year-end
Lonely I am, this holiday season.

Lonely every night
Lonely every day
Lonely i am, in so many ways.

Lonely is this place
Lonely is this life
Lonely i am, that I reach for a knife

Lonely all these seasons
Lonely all these years
Lonely i am, that it brings tears.

Lonely cus my wrong deed
Lonely cus my wrong gut
Lonely i am, that i fell from the UP


rEbuildinG,

rEurng del trov pruoy - poEm

y

REURNG DEL TROV PRUOY

y

thgnai niss thgnai sa-ek
vea jess teor phleork
phleork khoss bro-kro-tei
tver oy khnum pruoy
pruoy pruos rual thgnai
ter pruoy reurng ah-vey
juoy chleory brabb phorng.

reurng derl trov pruoy
pruoy pruos reurng muoy
kir reurng kanlorng
pruoy pruos jet prerl
t-bet merl rom lorng
thver oy bom norng
pum barn douch kit.

oh kdey prathna
choung jabb pa-ri-nha
sro va ban dith
khom breong srav jreav
reav rok kom nit
pon teor jivit
khmean seth tov dol.

oh kdey sang khim
derl thluab nho nhem
ro leay khmean soll
mean teor tirk phnaek
jreork kdey kang vol
jen da khvay khvoll
om pul khmean la-her.

ah net khluon muoy
jett jorngg lerk stuoy
krua sa puk meor
vet-ta-nea yang na
kor pum tha deor
pruos veas-na breor
oy khnum om pul.

ma-nus khnong loo key
tearng bross tearng srey
kuor kuabey yul
panh-a-ha jivet
trov kit oy dol
pruos loo key phdol
kangval jreorn nass.

ma-nus khnong loo key
krub roub bross srey
teorng keort heory jass
dom ner jivit
pitt jea b-do phlass
vi batt jreorn nass
khnong vad-da-sang-sa.

rEbuildinG,

PS: pls refer to me with any of my Khmer-english words you do not understand via the below comment section.

a scrap piEce - poEm

It was then I got my new gym accessories from my co-worker with a pretty affordable deal. After getting back from work I anxiously & hurriedly installed those gym stuffs in my bedroom since i did not want to spoil my livingroom view because it's the most favorite spot in my tiny apartment. With my king-size bed already in my bedroom, those gym accessories seem like another queen-size piece to be addded. I started to move every single piece of my furnitures just to see if the entire view in the bedroom look better. Out of my ability the work seemed to be at no where and it was already 4 AM. It appealed to me that The gym things and the king-size bed can't be together in my bedroom space. I finally decided to locate the gyms out at the livingroom and remanaged my furniture pieces to where it used to be located. With one by one the stuffs were being put back into its own spots, I happenned to look at those work paper scraps I had done during the previous year, 2006. I found a piece from those scraps and read it.... Oh ma god! That was a written poem I had drafted last December in order to reply to a net lady friend from Hi5 whom she is a poet from Vancouver, Canada. I had seen her poetry work in a khmer poem website which says "jreorn kheor mork heory oun som sar-ra-pheap.... .... .... snae ter voleak smoss jeak et breor" with the title of JAM PEAK THA SNAE.

Now I feel like to share all this drafted poetic information in that replied scrap paper of mine. I do not mean anything else more than a poem....:P

n

-----------------------------------------------------------

ream som or-kun toch tonn mjass snae
nov pheakdey snae del oun son som
somrab rub bang pi troung meas mom
jeat nis bon thom barn srey tver mjass.

som tus jompuos velea jreorn kheor
del oun breng theor jompuos bong ma-nak
jam jom leory bang chleury brab voleak
min kour bang khvakk min deong khluon eng.

ma-dech snguon tha bang jet dach me-ta
tveu oy konitha kream krom jom beorng
bong te keng phsong kruam troung ma-neak eng
min-hean thla thleorng sa-ra-pheap brab srey.

pel nis bong som smae jea kom nab
teorng jea peak kap joun sross thleorm thlay
tha bong kor luoch snae oun jreorn krai
jok krom ha-ra-tey jea you thngay kheor.

kom nab muoy nis reab raub sekdey
smaut brab tov srey tha bong louch snae
bro-kul beh-dong joun sros meas mae
thver jea ma-jass theor luh thgnai mo-ra-na.

ber bong khos a-vey bro-ney ream phorng
ream khmean bom nong thver bab jiva
kom nab mean ney ka-vey kot tra
chmuos srey ream ja jom leory beh-dong.

rEbuilding,

PS: pls refer to me with any of my Khmer-english words you do not understand via the below comment section.

snaE khnong sobEn - poEm

I'm a kind of person who just can't talk about sumthing positive related to ladies though i want to. All the words somehow stuck in the between of my both jaws.... so, in return, I am always called as a negativist among the peer ladies group. Though it's a fact of me in relation to them ladies, i'm sure they could still feel those true positivities inside my deep down. I instead prefer to blow things out in to pieces of writing, poetry is one of my favorite location to stuff all of those inspirational thoughts. This is so true about one of my facts. In fact, the following poem stanzas have been few times drafted before it appears so. It had not been yet a full poem, not until this Summer 2007; the title was the last thing included. There it says....

---------------------------------------------------------
v
SNAE KHNONG SOBEN

y

ah-treat yub sngat phat jum nor
lir so thghouch thgho kuor sro noss
khom brass khluo keng min luok soss
nirk dol som ross keo kan-ni-tha.

dom ner la-vot la-vun tun la-vun la-vey
ream nirk mo mey khernh pheaktra
nho nhem po preay leay vea ja
hakk prabb bang tha som et khjoss.

thhpual preurng ro loung douch mak-prang
khuoch teang song khang khernh sen sross
khuoch khernh so sai khjei teang oss
la-or et jan loss sross nuon la-ong.

kanh-jeng-kor la-or sor(white) sen som
jang kess moul khlom douch ang krong
oun jea dara doung jet bang
ream ouch thoub phsong pong juob snae.

bor bo muat sross lerss oss phkar
thver oy ream ra pra thna teor
srong khlen bopha phkar ma-jass snae
rouch reaksa theor tae touch tonn.

jenh jeorm reang koang douch en-tha-nu
ream koy kun you jang chlar chlonn
merl tov trong na khmean tha onn
bang nirk touch tonn kroub near ti.

sorkk eoury ro lerb veorng brass smar
douch tep thi da la-or khmean pi
ream jang bei bom thnorm chor vy
som sross neary smakk bang tov.

somm eury sen somm la-or et khjoss
ream snae yang smoss sross peal pov
ber min barn snhguon khluon bang trov
min arch ruos nov ler lork barn.

reab ruab min oss chmuos som kai
ream kun min nai te kal-la-yan
bang snae srey pit huos jet smarn
som sross phom pharn prom pro ney.

oh snae eury snae barn trem kit
khernh sross vor-mit rual reatrey
oun nov khpuos pek douch mek dei
tun sai dai khlei chhorng min dol.

jann eury jann trea near reatrey
som nuam som dei khnum tam khjol
tov brab pum-nghea jea yo-bol
ream snae nimul snae krai pek.

snae eury snaeha snae thom theng
snae chkuot vong veng pruos thlerm thlai
snae tae khnong jet kit sro mai
snae ler jor-ra-nai muoy meourn snae.

snae eury snae khnum kruam oh ra
ter don pel na terb barn la-her
na-heury chhob kit joss pruos reourng snae
kit ban trem ter "snae khnong sobEn."

rEbuildinG,

PS: I'm not as sweet as like what mentioned; So....please do not get me wrong ;) pls refer to me with any of my Khmer-english words you do not understand via the below comment section.

tun sai sdai chan - poEm

I have not posted anything lately about poetry, here goes my first poem. I guess the title itself says it all really. I'd say the concept of this poem is one of the excerpts from people's lives, mine, for example. Occasionally, i like to inflict people by writing poetry. It's one way of self-consoling. I may be wrong in some ways from the view of majority. As shown, BUNNY and MOON are my 2 favorite potraits used to illustrate love in poetry.... There you go....

---------------------------------------------------

v

TUNSAI SDAY CHANN

yub dob pram(15) keort
duong chan barn eort
banh jenh reaksmey
jang jeass pon lir
bom plir loo kei
tun sai touch kdey
kor barn plir der.

chan plir jeang phkay
tver oy tun sai
sen sday lok kher(moon)
reaksmey sro tun
koy kun et la-her
het ah-vey jan breor
boer jea ngor ngit.

tun sai sday jan
jang choung dai kann
barn trem ter kit
chan khpuos huos chhgai
tun sai phei phit
kreorng thluoy kom nit
ji vet kro lab.

oah phteang po pok
mdech ro sat mork
bet barngg yang chabb
thver oy tun sai
khvol khvai ster slabb
pruos pheap oour abb
barngg bet chan trea.

ron taess phleang phkor
mdech neak bon toor
oy phjuh phjoor mea
boak bokk sa bai
tun sai vet-a-near
rong kruos kruam krea
rual reatrey sngatt.

ro nouch ji vet
douch mek ngor ngit
jang ret sreork katt
oah phjuh khor khov
jenh tov oy batt
po pork ro satt
leorng barngg jann thlai.

rEbuildinG,

PS. ngor ngit ==> DARK
chhgai ==> FAR
ron taess ==> THUNDER
phjuh phjoor mea ==> HURRICANE
sngatt ==> QUIET
khor khov ==> CRUEL

Pls refer to me with any of my Khmer-english words you do not understand via the below comment section.