~
~
Nov 25, 2008
Nov 21, 2008
counting-down
Wishfully, it were gone for a better somthing...
@ mtl. postEd by outcastE at 12:11 AM 0 commEnts
Labels: about me, lifE, random thoughts
Nov 20, 2008
any potEntial buyErs for all thEsE things?
@ mtl. postEd by outcastE at 8:56 PM 0 commEnts
Labels: photos, stuffs, when i get bored
Nov 13, 2008
sEaling off
So here... i'm injecting what I felt and feel, because i remember very clearly all that was flowing through me as I wrote and talked those words - and here i'm noting down and trying to remember those cruel parts of me before everything is definitively changed.
@ mtl. postEd by outcastE at 7:12 PM 2 commEnts
Nov 5, 2008
moments passEd
~
@ mtl. postEd by outcastE at 11:31 PM 15 commEnts
Oct 28, 2008
Oct 26, 2008
a rEal dEal
@ mtl. postEd by outcastE at 11:45 PM 2 commEnts
Oct 22, 2008
titlE lEss
@ mtl. postEd by outcastE at 1:48 PM 11 commEnts
Labels: photos, random thoughts, stuffs
Oct 19, 2008
world XI playErs awards shortlist
Midfielders: Ballack, Deco, Essien, Fabregas, Gattuso, Gerrard, Iniesta, Kaka, Lampard, Mascherano, Pirlo, Ribery, Senna, Sneijder, Xavi.
Goalkeeper: Van der Sar (bench: Cech)
Defenders: Alves, Ferdinand, Puyol, Canarvaro (Bench: Terry, Pepe, Bosingwa, Zanetti)
Midfielders: Fabregas, Kaka, Sneijder (Bench: Ballack, Lampard, Gerrard)
Forwards: Henry, Messi, C. Ronaldo ( Bench: Nistelrooy, Villa, Rooney)
@ mtl. postEd by outcastE at 9:13 PM 2 commEnts
Labels: sport
Oct 18, 2008
maradona to lEad AgEntina to world cup finals?
"I would be really delighted, who wouldn't, to coach the national team," he said in the Fox Sport World cable channel when asked if he would like a chance. "I am completely willing and at the disposal of the Argentina team."
@ mtl. postEd by outcastE at 6:05 AM 0 commEnts
Labels: sport
Oct 16, 2008
a crossroad
Yet, i don't wanna be sad for a cruel truth that not even dreams can survive. I don't wanna be sad for being stubborn to be sad. I don't wanna be sad for all my weak spots left to be weak. Thus, i should be mainly feeling this way because i can no longer ignore the fact that - in generally speaking - the amount of committing and trusting that I give is a world away from what I get.
@ mtl. postEd by outcastE at 11:07 PM 6 commEnts
Labels: about me, loves, random thoughts
Oct 7, 2008
Oct 3, 2008
a momEnt likE that
@ mtl. postEd by outcastE at 8:24 AM 7 commEnts
Labels: stuffs
Sep 26, 2008
this far
Yet, i forget. I, however, forget that i'm not the only left falling into this excruciating emotion trap. Though i have the conviction of the world's best poker face - and yet, however determined i am - i don't always want to be this strong and emotionless. Sometimes, i just want to be sensitive and take everything personally; i just want to be not made to feel like a loser for that! i want my questions to be spoken out straightly by me and have them honestly and patiently answered.
I have striven so hard to be this inactive. I have made this far, so i can go on further still. I'll fight all the way through the climax. And however true or untrue that may be, it is lost on me in the day-to-day. I said it's okay. I will always express this confirmation no matter, in one way or another, in the future this could be true or untrue. I say this without a shred of self-pity, without wanting someone to tell me that i am so pitiable. Right now, i am a loser; an officially loser! What else can i be? When you look at the real happening for what it is, there's little amount of people would encourage me to keep fighting forward. Of course, i don't tell anyone i am a loser; i instead try to explain what's going on in my heart, the feeling i have about my determination and the way others might put a blame on me about how i become such a loser.
Thus far, there is no way for me to get into the details of the HOWs and WHYs here. There's never enough space for it, and this isn't the place for that. This is about just me - for what i have been or will be going through and how my life is changing and how i am dealing with it all - and the role this fact plays in my life. I know there are much more ahead before i really feel better. This ending was a long time passing, but it makes no difference when it's still slapping you right in the face.
I look at my life now as if every action is practice. Practice for the moment that i am now truly alone, with no one to help me in anyway, thou i also don't need help. I have been thinking about the way most of the posts shown in this blog will reflect the next new aspects to come in my life. I am sure some people have been through all what have been written here, so they are now on a journey with me, and i really wish, for their sakes if not my own, that i could turn this blog into something more amusing and with more various talk-outs than it's really going to be.
Thence, i only wish to remember that everybody including me is like this in one way or another; that some experiences or facts are worth taking and shouldn't be measured up against the past nor the future. And i also believe the way in which life takes away then turns right around to give more than you ever thought you could contain.
Joy denied is joy multiplied. Hope diminished is hope everlasting!
@ mtl. postEd by outcastE at 10:27 PM 4 commEnts
Labels: about me, issuEs, lifE, random thoughts
How much ya know about mE?
@ mtl. postEd by outcastE at 9:27 AM 12 commEnts
Labels: about me, stuffs, when i get bored
Sep 24, 2008
Sep 22, 2008
whEn a lovE lEave you - ladiEs - bEhind
By counting to three, we would jump down together to the great deep of the river, NO MATTER WHAT. Counted to three, you had fell downward alone without realising that I was being so shocked & nervous of drowning.
You would never know that i could never jump down following you while you had been that deadly drown. You kept falling into the river deep. And i was there watching you dying with the guilt in my heart for my beloved parents.
It has been two months since our incidence, now that you are gone - so deadly gone. And i am left behind living handsomely with my arranged husband.
I promise i will not cry. And i'll stop loving you. That's the demand of my husband from me to stop loving you - with the exchange of a 2-karat diamand ring. But, i don't think i could keep that promise. I broke that promise. I did cry indeed cuz i was so excited to be worn with such a big shining diamond ring by my husband.
I'm sorry for i made that stupid suicidal plan with you; i was too young back then with that stupid decision in mind. Instead, i'm so thankful to you. Without you, i wouldn't have had such a promising future with my wealthy husband.
Rest in peace my EX! It's Phjum Ben season! And i'll arrange some foods for you!
PS: you don't have to thank me via a dream tonight for the foods. It would be so fine for me without you in my dream.
-----------------------------
Inspired by All about m3
@ mtl. postEd by outcastE at 10:54 PM 2 commEnts
Labels: inspirational stories, when i get bored
Sep 21, 2008
Sep 16, 2008
a prEvailing silEncE
And i have been damned with my own absence.
I am yet singing in silence a golden song,
As thou to heal all my ancient wrongs.
You are but what i'm wordlessly scared.
You tell me that nothing is remained,
So i realise this should be the end of my plans.
I feel guilty to let go of what i should've kept near.
Now, tears are watering in my eyes,
As i am sitting here in silence with no surprises.
@ mtl. postEd by outcastE at 11:26 PM 7 commEnts
Labels: poEm
Sep 15, 2008
i.q.
I have seen this IQ thingie moment ago at a Khmer fellow blogger's webpage. Felt like wanting to try, and here i've done it. There isn't any mean of illustrations here beside that i was to see my own brain's ratio. YEt, I do not even know what's the perfect score.
Free-IQTest.net - IQ Test
@ mtl. postEd by outcastE at 8:46 AM 0 commEnts
Labels: stuffs, when i get bored
Sep 9, 2008
a littlE rEply
@ mtl. postEd by outcastE at 12:17 AM 0 commEnts
Labels: about me, issuEs, lifE, random thoughts
Sep 4, 2008
to my dEarly dad - i pray
@ mtl. postEd by outcastE at 10:44 PM 6 commEnts
Labels: issuEs
Aug 31, 2008
i wantEd to, but thEn i could not
I was supposed to drop so many lines here for today's blogging, but i was just stucked as though there had been something or some causes clawing me back to pause - and, instead, exposing that above scrolling texts. I've learnt that forgiving is not forgetting and neither should it be, because if we forget, we open ourselves again to that same kind of hurt and suffer. Yet, no one would realize there are hundreds of reasons behind this post. There are days when i feel like it was just yesterday, and others where it feels like it was a lifetime ago. When i look at where i stand, at the threshold of making that destructive decision, and wonder at the differences between now and then, i start to realized this is what i've been enduring....
@ mtl. postEd by outcastE at 11:17 PM 2 commEnts
Labels: issuEs
Aug 30, 2008
from tEn to onE
10 objects you touch everyday:
1. Toothbrush
2. Keyborad
3. Phone
4. Pen
5. My hair
6. Doorknob
7. Keys
8. Fridge
9. Paper
10. Wallet
9 things you look forward to:
1. Going out to eat
2. The night to come back
3. Playing occer matches
4. Reading news
5. Morning cold YOP (yogurt)
6. Full glass of cold water
7. Having vacation back home
8. Random daily news
9. Windy days with more relaxing time
8 stuffs you wear daily:
1. Moisturizer
2. Glasses
3. Clothes
4. Perfume
5. Deodorant
6. Boxer
7. Stiff face
8. Certain hairstyle
7 things you do everyday:
1. Read/write stuffs
2. Few times shower
3. Worry
4. Plan the next day
5. Do the pushup
6. Pee pee & ka ka
7. Spend
~
6 movies you can watch over and over:
1. Pearl Harbour
2. Harold and Kumar
3. Fearless
4. Wicker Park
5. Black Hawk Down
6. Troys
5 foods you can't leave without:
1. Chicken rice
2. Vietnamese soup (ma-jou yuon)
3. BBQ beef
4. Durian shake
5. Cambodian sub-marine
4 of your favourite songs at the moments:
1. Against all odds
2. Mek kong ter penh jet juoy
3. Ocean deep
4. It must have been love
3 phrases you use everyday:
1. I mean....
2. Thanks you
3. Em....
~
2 words describing yourself:
1. Guilty
2. Committing
~
1 person you could spend the rest of your life with:
1. I guess this is an awkward and clumsy question
~
@ mtl. postEd by outcastE at 12:22 AM 0 commEnts
Labels: stuffs
Aug 27, 2008
i need somE big guts
@ mtl. postEd by outcastE at 12:12 AM 2 commEnts
Labels: about me, issuEs, random thoughts
Aug 23, 2008
a loss i am going to includE
Straightaway, everything has changed now, and i know that my writing here will reflect my struggle and hurt with all this and my efforts to adjust that assumption on me. I am getting way ahead of mysef here.... that i'll one day prove and send back that false interpreting of spitting. Still, i'll maintain the same degree of the skin-deep i've built up until now, protecting what is called pages of my appearance, and, yet, respecting everyone's criticizing & condemnation. I suppose i could have the two very most dearest persons of mine then not involved. I shouldn't have let them shared that spit which was putatively just on me.
@ mtl. postEd by outcastE at 11:59 PM 0 commEnts
Aug 10, 2008
"matE match"
One particular game, however, several months ago made the Harbour City drop to its knees with laughter and is possibly the funniest thing you’ve heard yet. Anyway, here’s how it all went down:
*
DJ: “Hey! This is Ed on FOX-FM. Have you ever heard of ‘Mate Match’?”
Contestant: (laughing) “Yes, I have.”
DJ: “Great! Then you know we’re giving away a trip to the Gold Coast if you win. What is your name? First only please.”
Contestant: “Brian.”
DJ: “Brian, are you married or what?”
Brian: (laughing nervously) “Yes, I am married.”
DJ: “Thank you. Now, what is your wife’s name? First only please.”
Brian: “Sara.”
DJ: “Is Sara at work, Brian?”
Brian: “She is gonna kill me.”
DJ: “Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?”
Brian: (laughing) “Yes, she’s at work.”
DJ: “Okay, first question - when was the last time you had sex?”
Brian: “About 8 o’clock this morning.”
DJ: “Atta boy, Brian.”
Brian: (laughing sheepishly) “Well…”
DJ: “Question #2 - How long did it last?”
Brian: “About 10 minutes.”
DJ: “Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have said that if a trip wasn’t at stake.”
Brian: “Yeah, that trip sure would be nice.”
DJ: “Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o’clockthis morning?
Brian: (laughing hard) “I, ummm, I, well…”
DJ: “This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?”
Brian: “Not that it was all that great, but her mum is staying with us for a couple of weeks…”
DJ: “Uh huh…”
Brian: “…and the Mother-In-Law was in the shower at the time.”
DJ: “Atta boy, Brian.”
Brian: “On the kitchen table.”
DJ: “Not that great?? That is more adventure than the previous hundred times I’ve done it. Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get this wife’s work number and call her up. You listen to this.”
[3 minutes of commercials follow.]
*
DJ: “Okay audience; let’s call Sarah, shall we?” (Touch tones…..ringing….)
Clerk: “Kinkos.”
DJ: “Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?”
Clerk: “This is she.”
DJ: “Sarah, this is Ed with FOX-FM. We are live on the air right now and I’ve been talking with Brian for a couple of hours now.”
Sarah: (laughing) “A couple of hours?”
DJ: “Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to give any answers away or you’ll lose. Sooooooo… do you know the rules of ‘Mate Match’?”
Sarah: “No.”
DJ: “Good!”
Brian: (laughing)
Sarah: (laughing) “Brian, what the hell are you up to?”
Brian: (laughing) “Just answer his questions honestly, okay? Be completely honest.”
DJ: “Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sarah. If your answers match Brian’s answers, then the both of you will be off to the Gold Coast for 5 days on us.”
Sarah: (laughing) “Yes.”
DJ: “Alright. When did you last have sex, Sarah?”
Sarah: “Oh God, Brian….uh, this morning before Brian went to work.”
DJ: “What time?”
Sarah: “Around 8 this morning.”
DJ: “Very good. Next question. How long did it last?”
Sarah: “12, 15 minutes maybe.”
DJ: “Hmmmm. That’s close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect his manhood. We’ve got one last question, Sarah. You are one question away from a trip to the Gold Coast. Are you ready?”
Sarah: (laughing) “Yes.”
DJ: “Where did you have it?”
Sarah: “OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn’t tell them that did you?”
Brian: “Just tell him, honey.”
DJ: “What is bothering you so much, Sarah?”
Sarah: “Well…”
DJ: Come on Sarah…..where did you have it?
Sarah: “Up the a$$…”
After a long pause, the DJ said, “Folks, we need to take a station break”
And the drivers of Sydney almost crashed their cars laughing!
@ mtl. postEd by outcastE at 12:23 AM 0 commEnts
Labels: jokes
Aug 6, 2008
hErE's thE consEquEncE
@ mtl. postEd by outcastE at 12:51 AM 0 commEnts
Labels: issuEs, random thoughts
Aug 3, 2008
provE this can bE truE!
@ mtl. postEd by outcastE at 11:44 PM 0 commEnts
Jul 29, 2008
birth-nivErsary
~
@ mtl. postEd by outcastE at 7:33 PM 2 commEnts
Labels: about me, birthday, random thoughts
Jul 26, 2008
vintagE t-shirt
@ mtl. postEd by outcastE at 11:25 PM 0 commEnts
Labels: birthday
Jul 25, 2008
Jul 17, 2008
bEdroom tasks
2) Use furniture with slim frames. This is a very obvious solution. Furniture with slim frames have less perceived volume and because of this the room looks bigger.
@ mtl. postEd by outcastE at 9:48 PM 0 commEnts
Labels: stuffs
Jul 12, 2008
pillows-night
Of most of the nights, my heart slowly breaks in pieces for how much innocence would my choice take from my family? How very much of them will it destroy? Should their states of being innocent spare this real trauma because of me? Will they one day believe i did something so disgraceful and forever messed them up? I wish they will never know what it is like to confront with this idiot-spider-type me and i grieve for that. I grieve for them and, as well, for myself - for all options i dreamed of and worked extremely hard for. I used to have a clear vision of who i wanted to be and of high of family's expectation i aimed to enhance - and instead, i am here, writing these sentences....
The guiltiness that such a son, such a brother, and such a someone feels, equals no others. This guilt is now killing me cuz i realise.... realise so painfully.... that the kind of life i wanted does not exist anyway. All the long while i stayed under the same roof with family, i was selfless, dependable, committed, helpful and caring. And later when i have been away, i let my personal sadness embitter me, ruin me, fake me, and - last of all - destroy me. My life in short - like a saying said - is like an onion: you peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep. For this has been the fact of my life - i found it is not worth living!
@ mtl. postEd by outcastE at 11:52 PM 0 commEnts
Jul 9, 2008
"why i firEd my sEcrEtary" - a jokE
My kids came trampling down the stairs to breakfast, ate their breakfast, and didn’t say a word to me. So when I made it out of the house and started for work, I felt pretty dumpy and despondent.
As I walked into my office, my secretary Joanne said, “Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!” It felt a bit better knowing that at least someone remembered. I worked in a zombie like fashion until about one o’clock, when Joanne knocked on my door and said, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day outside, and it’s your Birthday, why don’t we go out for lunch, just you and me.” I said, “Thanks, Joanne, that’s the best thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go!”
We went to lunch but not where we’d normally go. Instead she took me to a quiet bistro with a private table. We had a couple of mixed drinks and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Joanne said, “You know, It’s such a beautiful day… We don’t have to go right back to the office, do we?” I replied with “I suppose not. What do you have in mind?” She said, “Let’s go to my apartment, it’s just around the corner.”
After arriving at her apartment, Joanne turned to me and said, “Boss if you don’t mind, I’m going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I’ll be right back.” “Ok.” I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake….
Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends, and co-workers, all singing “Happy Birthday”.
And I just sat there.…
On the couch….
Naked. "
@ mtl. postEd by outcastE at 5:55 AM 0 commEnts
Labels: jokes
Jul 1, 2008
an illusionary
.....
.....
.....
.....
This is a common program you may find out in some seconds or will never find out if you are happenned to be shown with the illusion for just seconds without the following hints.
If you take a close look at the initial cards at the last 5 cards...., you will find the explanation that is based on the lack of human memory.... There are so many tricks and effects within CARDS itself. You'll be tricked atleast once, once you ever try to involve with it. Consequesntly, there's the decision.... and only you yourself to decide.
¿TASTE IT OR LET NOT IT TASTES YOU?
@ mtl. postEd by outcastE at 10:52 PM 0 commEnts
a torn piEce
If you already understand about him,
no explanation is necessary....
@ mtl. postEd by outcastE at 12:33 AM 2 commEnts
Labels: about me
Jun 29, 2008
viEnna calling - Euro 2008
There will be key battles all over the field, but the most fascinating will be in midfield between Germany captain Michael Ballack and Spain's Cesc Fabregas, who is expected to start because David Villa is likely to miss out with a foot injury. Despite decades of producing great players, Spain's only major tournament victory came at the 1964 European Championship when they beat Russia's predecessors, the Soviet Union, in the final in Madrid. Germany will also be hoping to end an odd sequence that has seen them win and lose finals alternately. After winning in 1972, they lost in 1976, before winning again in 1980, losing in 1992 and winning again in 1996---
Highlight result? Click here!
@ mtl. postEd by outcastE at 1:28 AM 0 commEnts
Labels: sport