bottlEs of carlsbErg

Couldn't sleep any longer i woke up.... dang, that was about 6 am of my Saturday; poor me.... woke up this early Sat*. Tho i can remember every motion i moved and every word i wrote, yesternight was my only night i fell asleep without looking at the Clock; i fell asleep with no intention of sleeping. I'd say things happen for reasons and so did i....lol As far as i can recall, I started to be socialised drinking after i was done my 22. It was then a year afterward, few years ago, i consumed more limit of alcohol my body can bear. I then ended up puking out, and passed out on my friend's bed....; shame on me huh !?! Later that day i self promised i would never consume that much of the drinking again, drink not to puke. Few years later, which was last night, i apparently did drink over my limit again (i did it for few reasons), but look....i didn't break my rule; thank to my self-promising of puke-drinking. Though i am not that an official drinker, i can always socialize in drinking and could always be able to set my limit for not to throw up. It's not about being scared of puking, but it's about being a son of my parents :P I am obligatory to do so for a pride of them. Since that few-years-ago incident, i'd say i drink less than ten times a year, and mostly from 1 to 3 bottles (330ml). Em.... what else should i say? Well, it has been few hours now after i woke up. It seems like i am waiting to do something, but somehow i can't do it by now. Instead, to kill the time, i've been doing some of my house chores and reading some jokes to get myself out of that depressant mood. Here i got 2 jokes related to drinking to share; it is just kinda fairly funny to me. There it tells....
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Drunk

Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your mom's the best lay in town!" Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, and the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end. Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and says, "I just screwed your mom, and it was sweet!" Again the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk goes back to the far end of the bar. Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, "Your mom liked it!" Finally the guy interrupts. "Go home, Dad,... you're drunk!"

Classic affair
A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.
"Certainly, Sir , that'll be one cent." The bartender handed the man a beer.
One Cent?" the man exclaimed. He glanced at the menu and asked: "How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?"
"A nickel," the barman replied.
"A nickel?" exclaimed the man. "Where's the guy who owns this place?"
The bartender replied: "Upstairs, with my wife."
The man asked: "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"
The bartender replied: "The same thing I'm doing to his business down here."

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rEbuildinG,