Time goes by, life grows older. Weekends pass, weekdays replace. Things take turn, cycles move around. The sorrow comes and goes in life, tears come from the eyes, and i come across same same facts. The cycle of each my life's tastes arrives again, i can't escape, but to face it, bear with it, and mourn it. Pain....Pain....Pain.... comes and goes, but never long gone. Death causes pain; love causes pain; losing causes pain; missing causes pain; anger causes pain; hurt causes pain; crying causes pain; lying causes pain....; so many more causes pain. It had been a while since i last wept when there was ocean of sorrows running into the heart inside my so tight chest.... I then could do nothing, but to let tears flow down my cheeks. It has been my same same choice i often do to calm down my heart. It's always this better for me to take my sorrows out of my heart into tears. When anger or sorrow is surging, it's so d*** hard for me to control, but weep, just to sweep those sorrow and anger away with tears.My anguishes are sometime building up so close to exploding cus of angers. I always have no second thoughts everytime my body shakes with anger. That line slowly starts to overstep the line of forgiveness, and, luckily, that never happens cus i never wish for it to happen. I am so wondering why recently anger has become my friends? Why recently i am so sensitive to getting angry? I sometimes feel my heart is empty everytime anger arises. It becomes cold as ice so as it reaches to break. That icy heart leaks out of water, and that water drips and slips away the trusts inside my heart. How can you trust someone if that someone has broken your trust? Those moments ....sigh....
Though trust is just a word, it still has its powerful & meaningful fact. It is a feeling that always worth achieving. It is to me a MUST. The warm inside my heart is fueled by the trust itself being given. It is so d*** hurtful when i, myself, can't give out trusts. I am now so scared to trust and being trusted. I used to break those....'s feelings, and, as well, used to be left broken inside. I am simply scared; it's not about others, it's about me, myself. Once each time it's left broken, the capability of building back up is getting weaker and weaker.
....yet, nothing is greater than the compassionate feelings and love that support my willingness to forgive. This compassionate feelings has always been inside me. Love and forgiveness are the only 2 advantageous feelings i possess just to share with those whom are meant to be given....
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rEbuildinG,
2 commEnts:
I've gone through ur page.. hmm why wrote everything that is so hurtful? Were u refer to someone? I read it then make me sad with u.. If u don't mind to share..
I have nothing pleasant to write which is why you saw all just these.... What causes you sad? Thank for your intention to know my hurtful writing. I wouldn't mind to share if i do knwo who you are....
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