my samE samE lifE tastE

Sometimes things happen in my life, mostly in this third decade of life time of mine, which are so coincidental that it makes me pause. It seems as though god is trying to send me messages to follow with zero tolerance. Can you imagine yourself being crazy + mad from Monday to Sunday? Yep, that's what i went through this whole damn week. I am honestly so sick of putting fake facial expression on my face. I smile on the outside but inside i don't feel that way at all. I try so damn hard to feel better but my everyday hope of not being a magma-temper is shattered just like it can never be changed.

Nine days have passed since my vacation started. I have lost few weights as usual (during the time of each vacation). I have gained new experiences (bad) and made new friends who often made my day during this week long. I have played some competitive soccer matches with my neighbors as well as those folks from my community. Nevertheless, i have made some bad decisions which bring anger to head, hotness to temper. It burnt my innocent mentality I'd say.

I always wonder why there are ups and downs in life, but then, I realised that my life is just like a puzzle. There's a satisfaction with joys and happiness in life when all the pieces of puzzle are successfully placed together. When everything falls apart and is misplaced, sadness, craziness and madness come back into life. Do ya realise that everything which results in joy is often followed by something upsetting? It's the cycle of life I'd say, which is why i am afraid of everything good that is to come because i am scared to fall; i am afraid the state of being upset takes its turn. However, I do not wish for anything bad for myself. I just wish that my life could go back to normal. I wish I could have back the life i used to have (the one where i did not need to worry about anything at all and just live life the way it is).

I suppose I could have not then walked that path which resulted this upsetting life. BBBBuuuutttt, why bother? I keep telling myself that there is no point to waste time analyzing that past anymore, for now. Look...., when we're lost in despair, remember, that the only thing that still shines in the darkness is a star. The point is to keep our eyes searching for a star because behind every dark place there is a bright light!!!!

God loves us!!!! (I hope :S)