onE thing for guy to lEarn - joke

The Headache Cure =))

Bert was moderately succesful in his career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered by incredible headaches. When his job and personal life started to suffer because of it, he sought medical help.

After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across a doctor who solved the problem. "The good news is I can cure your headaches," said the doctor. "The bad news is it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine. The pressure creates one heck of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove your testicles."

Bert was shocked and depressed. But since the headache made it impossible for him to concentrate long enough to answer, he decided he had no choice but to go under the knife.

When he left the hospital, his mind was clear and free from pain. He felt like a different person. He realized he could make a new beginning in life.

He walked past a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need: a new suit!" He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The salesman eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see...size 44 long." Bert laughed, "That's right. How did you know?" "It's my job," replied the salesman.

Bert tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Bert admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Bert thought for a moment and said, "Sure." The salesman eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see...34 sleeve, 16 1/2 neck." Bert was surprised. "That's right. How did you know?" "It's my job."

Bert tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly. As Bert adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes?" Bert was on a roll and said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Bert's feet and said, "Let's see...9 1/2 wide." Bert was astonished. "That's right. How did you know?" "It's my job."

Bert tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Bert walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about a new hat?" Without hesitating Bert replied, "Sure." The salesman eyed Bert's head and said, "Let's see...7 5/8." Bert was incredulous. "That's right. How did you know?" "It's my job."

The hat fit perfectly. Bert was feeling great. Then the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?" Bert thought for a moment, but then said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Bert's waist and said, "Let's see...size 36."
Bert laughed. "No, you finally got one wrong. I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old."

The salesman shook his head and said, "You can't wear a size 34. It would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one heck of a headache."


=))

http://www.funnyandjokes.com/

thE salty coffEE

I've just finished reading this story and feel like to share; it's so touching thou...! =)
"He met her at a party. She was so outstanding, many guys chasing after her, while he was so normal, nobody paid attention to him.

At the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised but due to being polite, she promised. They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was too nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, and she thought to herself, "Please, let me go home..."

Suddenly he asked the waiter, "Would you please give me some salt? I'd like to put it in my coffee." Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red but still, he put the salt in his coffee and drank it. She asked him curiously, "Why you have this hobby?" He replied, "When I was a little boy, I lived near the sea, I liked playing in the sea, I could feel the taste of the sea, just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty coffee, I always think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my hometown so much, I miss my parents who are still living there." While saying that tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched. That's his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can tell out his homesickness, he must be a man who loves home, cares about home, has responsibility of home... Then she also started to speak, spoke about her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family......

That was a really nice talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story. They continued to date. She found that actually he was a man who meets all her demands; he had tolerance, was kind hearted, warm, careful. He was such a good person but she almost missed him! Thanks to his salty coffee! Then the story was just like every beautiful love story, the princess married to the prince, and then they were living the happy life... And, every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee, as she knew that's the way he liked it.

After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said, "My dearest, please forgive me, forgive my whole life's lie. This was the only lie I said to you- the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt. It was hard for me to change so I just went ahead. I never thought that could be the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie to you for anything... Now I'm dying, I afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth, I don't like the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste... But I have had the salty coffee for my whole life! Since I knew you, I never feel sorry for anything I do for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life. If I can live for the second time, still want to know you and have you for my whole life, even though I have to drink the salty coffee again."

Her tears made the letter totally wet. Someday, someone asked her, "What's the taste of salty coffee?" She replied, "It's sweet."


http://www.lovefatedestiny.com/

....this far....

Love always needs a complicated measure. Sometimes, it needs more than just a sacrifice to be able to flourish. It hurts, like most poets say. And yeah, it does, big time. But then, at other times, love is simple. Sweet, but simple. Nothing compares to the divine, priceless moments it can create. Those everlasting hugs, sweet smiles, and joyful tears you guys shared that day have taught me this. Thank you, and congratulations. Yeah, love always needs a complicated measure. But trust me, guys. Once you fall in love, never hesitate, because you will never regret. I don't. I will never do....

I havE reachEd - joke

It has been 2 weeks to decide whether i should or not post this joke since i didn't know wat should be the good thing to post.

Well, now i have just come up with a funny story. hopefully, you'll enjoy reading it; and pls be reminded that the last part is the climax of the story....=)))

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Some years ago, there was a man had checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally typed a wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile....Somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting some condolence messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son and daughter rushed into the room, found their mother laying on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

"To: My Loving Wife Subject: I've Reached Date: 29th July 2004 I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here, and we are allowed to send e-mails to loved ones. I've just reached and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you TOMORROW!


Your loving Hubby"

http://www.funnyandjokes.com/

mE....

It has always bothered me a lot everytime I am asked to describe stuffs about me or related to me. In all my life i feel like I've been riding on a rollercoaster. Sometimes i yell, sometimes i scream. Sometimes i feel like i am on top of the world that i just want to raise my hands and shout out to everybody about how happy and contented i am. There are times when i feel like an excited, though mostly not. It's just like a wide-eyed child whose world is all about enjoying the roller-coaster ride with all its ups and downs. As naive and foolish as it may seem, i am actually happy this way. And sometimes i wish i could just stay this way, as playful as that child, forever.

Being unable to afford a good life is such a painful ordeal of a life time. I've yet been striving so hard in targeting maself to getting a good management of life. I guess ma life is up and down depending on each coming day, days in days out. Let say i've apparently so far been living as a night owl for yearssss, and there more yearssss to come.... My chest is getting heavier by every passing second and I just lose sense of my heartbeat, every breathe of mine just gets tougher and my mind keeps on feeling disturbed for all those reasons.... I'm so fed up of laughing empty laughs. Of crying meaningless tears. Of smiling empty smiles. Of nodding careless nods. Of staring hollow stares. I want something real. Something honest. Something blatant and sweet, for me to share with the rest of the world, without fear. I'm tired of living this painful life. I wish I could just scream. And shout like that happy little boy on the rollercoaster, who does nothing else than being honest to himself and to everybody else that hears.

These days' issues are coming up and down like the raging sea; settled this, and the next moment when i think everything is falling on the right track, another issue pops up. After that, another comes up again.... Sometimes, i just can't help myself but to wonder, what the hell is happening to my life???? Am i a cursed being or what???? How much i wish to shout out, shout out those desperations and frustrations in me, but, somehow, my logical side is too strong to allow me to fall into those fantasies.... Maybe cus it knows, i won't want to head to the exit and run away from everything.

THINGS happen on each everyone of us and i found some are tough to compress within that's why i'm bringing it out not to seek agreement from others, but just to open up my memory chest.... I am taught better not to let my past dictate who i am, but let it be part of who i will become. I admit, i did step across the line of rules; i did bend it somehow and i'm not escaping from those facts, but i just want to find a new page, a departure, even when there is no certain place to go. All i can do by now is to wish to be able to MOVE ON....



rEbuildinG,