i wantEd to, but thEn i could not

I was supposed to drop so many lines here for today's blogging, but i was just stucked as though there had been something or some causes clawing me back to pause - and, instead, exposing that above scrolling texts. I've learnt that forgiving is not forgetting and neither should it be, because if we forget, we open ourselves again to that same kind of hurt and suffer. Yet, no one would realize there are hundreds of reasons behind this post. There are days when i feel like it was just yesterday, and others where it feels like it was a lifetime ago. When i look at where i stand, at the threshold of making that destructive decision, and wonder at the differences between now and then, i start to realized this is what i've been enduring....

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from tEn to onE

I have always got few things - jokes, poetry, news, musics and some small quizzes - i oftenly or even daily enjoy while dining after work. It's one of the very possible ways to amuse myself. I'd love to do quizzes if there are always ones. It's one of my favorite timing of the night - doing quizzes and being quizzed (not squeezed) :> WEll, here i have just found one good-to-do quiz. So, i thought to myself how fun it would be to share these things here....

FROM TEN TO ONE

10 objects you touch everyday:
1. Toothbrush
2. Keyborad
3. Phone
4. Pen
5. My hair
6. Doorknob
7. Keys
8. Fridge
9. Paper
10. Wallet

9 things you look forward to:
1. Going out to eat
2. The night to come back
3. Playing occer matches
4. Reading news
5. Morning cold YOP (yogurt)
6. Full glass of cold water
7. Having vacation back home
8. Random daily news
9. Windy days with more relaxing time

8 stuffs you wear daily:
1. Moisturizer
2. Glasses
3. Clothes
4. Perfume
5. Deodorant
6. Boxer
7. Stiff face
8. Certain hairstyle

7 things you do everyday:
1. Read/write stuffs
2. Few times shower
3. Worry
4. Plan the next day
5. Do the pushup
6. Pee pee & ka ka
7. Spend
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6 movies you can watch over and over:
1. Pearl Harbour
2. Harold and Kumar
3. Fearless
4. Wicker Park
5. Black Hawk Down
6. Troys

5 foods you can't leave without:
1. Chicken rice
2. Vietnamese soup (ma-jou yuon)
3. BBQ beef
4. Durian shake
5. Cambodian sub-marine

4 of your favourite songs at the moments:
1. Against all odds
2. Mek kong ter penh jet juoy
3. Ocean deep
4. It must have been love

3 phrases you use everyday:
1. I mean....
2. Thanks you
3. Em....
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2 words describing yourself:
1. Guilty
2. Committing
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1 person you could spend the rest of your life with:
1. I guess this is an awkward and clumsy question
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i need somE big guts

I see my daily life as an unsolved puzzle board which each piece and clue of unmanageble and unending riddle is scattered. I always end up in the same place: frustrated, angry and hurt over trying so hard and being so open and ending up empty. Tellingly, if possible, i prefer not to be in contact with people besides those few exceptional ones. It isn't that i do hate being socialized, but i'm afraid people might be unable to accept my this-moment-type-of-me and vice versa.

Despite anything to the contrary, i lately feel as though i am so lack of having a feeling of delight at being entertained because of the self-entitled-motto type, outcaste. Though it's the only term i consider as best corresponding to the emphatic form of me, i am, somehow, in a need of entertaining from others still. As yet, i have been battling with what has got to be this stupid rediculous decision ever: involve or not to be involved with people? Should or shouldn't i? I know i could always bring together in peer groups, but to do so i need some big GUTS to tear off that self entitled term. Whatever this might have been, only time proves it all.

a loss i am going to includE

It was an undeniable costly damage; the price that was sadistically paid for an unexpected greeting I can never ever forget. It was one of the most stupid intentions i've ever done in this entire life, and the incidence is yet so overwhelming in my thought. I just came to know what he is really upto. I was stunningly shocked to hear those very few words that kill my warm feeling of gratitude. I was holding back whatever feelings i had at that moment to think - angry, upset, or mad? To think that the one i always appreciated, to think that the one i always regarded as among the closest ones, what that Mr. right said was really no base and over generalized. I hate to be judged that real fast. It seems like my head was drilled to the brain.

There's so much tied to this world. One can never be able to escape from words of criticizing, mocking, comparing, and more further. One can never live perfectly with his/her mind of satisfaction and desire - but, instead let majority to decide the way life is, or else he/she would be branded as whatever the majority feels. I hate this way societies condemn the lively part of arts and some things new. I so damn hate the way societies push its fellow members to carry on what's called its own legacies.

Straightaway, everything has changed now, and i know that my writing here will reflect my struggle and hurt with all this and my efforts to adjust that assumption on me. I am getting way ahead of mysef here.... that i'll one day prove and send back that false interpreting of spitting. Still, i'll maintain the same degree of the skin-deep i've built up until now, protecting what is called pages of my appearance, and, yet, respecting everyone's criticizing & condemnation. I suppose i could have the two very most dearest persons of mine then not involved. I shouldn't have let them shared that spit which was putatively just on me.

To that Mr. right, today will be a memory between me and you. A memory that's drifting away and turns into no connection. A memory that today i turned into tears, tearing us apart.

"matE match"

Just imagine sitting in traffic on your way to work and hearing this. Many Sydney folks did hear this on the FOX FM morning show in Sydney. The DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is called “Mate Match“.

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The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers “yes”, he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions. The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner with phone number for verification. If their partner answers those same three questions correctly, they both win the prize.

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One particular game, however, several months ago made the Harbour City drop to its knees with laughter and is possibly the funniest thing you’ve heard yet. Anyway, here’s how it all went down:
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DJ: “Hey! This is Ed on FOX-FM. Have you ever heard of ‘Mate Match’?”
Contestant: (laughing) “Yes, I have.”
DJ: “Great! Then you know we’re giving away a trip to the Gold Coast if you win. What is your name? First only please.”
Contestant: “Brian.”
DJ: “Brian, are you married or what?”
Brian: (laughing nervously) “Yes, I am married.”
DJ: “Thank you. Now, what is your wife’s name? First only please.”
Brian: “Sara.”
DJ: “Is Sara at work, Brian?”
Brian: “She is gonna kill me.”
DJ: “Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?”
Brian: (laughing) “Yes, she’s at work.”
DJ: “Okay, first question - when was the last time you had sex?”
Brian: “About 8 o’clock this morning.”
DJ: “Atta boy, Brian.”
Brian: (laughing sheepishly) “Well…”
DJ: “Question #2 - How long did it last?”
Brian: “About 10 minutes.”
DJ: “Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have said that if a trip wasn’t at stake.”
Brian: “Yeah, that trip sure would be nice.”
DJ: “Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o’clockthis morning?
Brian: (laughing hard) “I, ummm, I, well…”
DJ: “This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?”
Brian: “Not that it was all that great, but her mum is staying with us for a couple of weeks…”
DJ: “Uh huh…”
Brian: “…and the Mother-In-Law was in the shower at the time.”
DJ: “Atta boy, Brian.”
Brian: “On the kitchen table.”
DJ: “Not that great?? That is more adventure than the previous hundred times I’ve done it. Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get this wife’s work number and call her up. You listen to this.”

[3 minutes of commercials follow.]
*
DJ: “Okay audience; let’s call Sarah, shall we?” (Touch tones…..ringing….)
Clerk: “Kinkos.”
DJ: “Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?”
Clerk: “This is she.”
DJ: “Sarah, this is Ed with FOX-FM. We are live on the air right now and I’ve been talking with Brian for a couple of hours now.”
Sarah: (laughing) “A couple of hours?”
DJ: “Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to give any answers away or you’ll lose. Sooooooo… do you know the rules of ‘Mate Match’?”
Sarah: “No.”
DJ: “Good!”
Brian: (laughing)
Sarah: (laughing) “Brian, what the hell are you up to?”
Brian: (laughing) “Just answer his questions honestly, okay? Be completely honest.”
DJ: “Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sarah. If your answers match Brian’s answers, then the both of you will be off to the Gold Coast for 5 days on us.”
Sarah: (laughing) “Yes.”
DJ: “Alright. When did you last have sex, Sarah?”
Sarah: “Oh God, Brian….uh, this morning before Brian went to work.”
DJ: “What time?”
Sarah: “Around 8 this morning.”
DJ: “Very good. Next question. How long did it last?”
Sarah: “12, 15 minutes maybe.”
DJ: “Hmmmm. That’s close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect his manhood. We’ve got one last question, Sarah. You are one question away from a trip to the Gold Coast. Are you ready?”
Sarah: (laughing) “Yes.”
DJ: “Where did you have it?”
Sarah: “OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn’t tell them that did you?”
Brian: “Just tell him, honey.”
DJ: “What is bothering you so much, Sarah?”
Sarah: “Well…”
DJ: Come on Sarah…..where did you have it?
Sarah: “Up the a$$…”

After a long pause, the DJ said, “Folks, we need to take a station break”
And the drivers of Sydney almost crashed their cars laughing!

More jokes? Click here.

hErE's thE consEquEncE

I feel like the people whom i believe should know me best have the least faith in me, like they cannot see the whole picture of my intention and instead push me into this blog to which I can by hard digest all the letdowns and frustrations, regardless of all the d*mn intent and effort I put into being a better person.

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I don't blame no one, and neither do i ever blame myself again - but it saddens me to see where i am today, grown apart with all the complete independence which, as a result, ruined all of those possibilities.... It seems there's still an unending riddle to be solved - and it looks as though the more i retreat, the more i put pressure unto that self-accusation.... of mine.

Here's the consequence, hidden in the contents of my deeds and in those my pages that already turned.

provE this can bE truE!

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As you can see, there are 2 triangles in the above arrangement. The 2 triangles contain 4 differrent shapes in 4 different colors in which all the 4 color shapes of each triangle are all the same in sizes. The 2 triangles are 13 X 5 squares. We rearranged those 4 shapes as shown in the second triangle, but it looks like one square is not covered! Prove how can this be true!

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Answer: to be later updated

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