a piEce of mind

After a week into holidays, i've still felt very restless. I had gone to gym few times, watched the latest movies, read all the books i wanted to, and I found myself with nothing to do. Out of desperation, i even considered getting another part-time job, but i was too lazy to work seven days a week. As i laid on my couch day-dreaming, a loud siren sound of an ambulance woke me up. I was like oh...my goddd! An elderly neighbor of mine had a heart attack. She then was sent to the hospital pitifully leaving her daughter sobbing with so much grief while the Ambulance driving out of her sight from the backyard.

Later that afternoon, i started to consider about my life expectancy. I once read somewhere about an article talking of life extension and immortality. Now there are some critical questions appear in my mind; do i want to live another 30 years? sure. Want to live another 60 years? Probably. Want to live another 200 years? Hmmmm... Why can't i say "sure!" to this last question? This is a really interesting topic. Of course, i am eager to live longer, but i also feel that our desire to live longer as much as possible will lead us to a trap and fault we would never want to fall into. It's really difficult to put this into words. I guess i will need time to clarify my thoughts.

I oftenly asked myself how to live my life without regrets. If i could do one thing in life over again, what would it be? Am i brave enough to bare that part of my life? I would love to be asked all these questions and would love my answers to be rewarded by just one miracle. If only it comes to reality we may find that we no longer have any regrets. Well, we can't predict the future which lies ahead of us to be happenned as exactly as we want it to be nor change the past which is already driven.

Life goes on; so why not let do something to move forward.One of the most difficult things to accomplish is to successfully plan for the future. Once you do it right you'll positively get most of your possible expectations as planned; let say it'll be fruitful. On the contrary, if you fail, there'll be some other unexpected facts lie upon you in which cause you some more possible tough decisions to be re-taken into further consideration for another future plan. Biologically speaking, in most cases, people are born equally, and they happen to live their lives differently due to the effects of their surroundings including family status, society where they belong to, peer groups, so on and so forth. I would say, likewise, decision makings, furthermore, play more important role in differentiating people's future. It may cause a rich man collapse as a poor one, a smartie to a dumbie, a well-being to a handicap ...etc. Any aspects can happen or be happenned in such case.

Some thesises, on the other hand, appear to be against the above idea, the decision making. It states that once it's not too late to re-decide there's always another chance for an affordable good future. Nothing can change us if we don't want to change ourselves; be content with what we are, and be positive & confident with what we do. It's such a great idea indeed, but to some certain conditions of an individual, it somehow appears to be impossible to re-decide; let take into consideration a condition of a single guy whose life is in a critical condition due to the fact that he has made wrong decision in pursuing his early independent life away from home. That poor guy, for example, belongs to a society where family's benefit should be taken as a threshold before going on further to self-decision-making. He grew up in a family that has faith on him. Family and friends are necessary parts of his life. They act as companions in his voyage through life. With them he experiences and shares many things. He learns how to love, hate, laugh, joke and be a normal functioning human being. After a defeat of his so-called wrong decision-making, he somehow aims at re-making some more possible decisions which may later brighten up his life's plan, but if he does so then he will end up changing his family's future as a whole since he's still part of his family. With such reasons in his head, he started to devote things and lose his chances one by one, but he's embraced to follow his instinct just to make his family feel positively about him. He believes once his whole family is happy he'll be content to be happy as well. This also counts couples' lives. you're meant to satisfy your spouse and kids. LOVE is all about devotion & sacrifice.

I have to come to the end of this talk, and will need to reclarify my thoughts and will have to give in if there'll be some better solutions suggested. I believe each idividual has different opinion regarding his/her life's trend & decision making. Somes choose their own happiness outweight their family's...it's their decision to make a happy life, and it's hard to decide what makes a happy life for we can't agree on a definition of happiness that's acceptable to all. One man's idea of happy life could be entirely different from another man's and what a third man considers to be a happy life may be acceptable neither to the first nor to the second.

All in all, all i am certain is that nothing can make your life happy unless you know how to feel happy. Yet, i will need to be more cautious for the next upcoming decision-makings of ma life journey. If i continue to live my life unchecked, i cannot imagine what my future will be? what my life will become? How will i be ended up? And where will i be living at? these are some of the serious questions that need to be answered and steps must be taken in order to avoid possible calamities.


rEbuildinG,