cuts like a knifE

"Knife....cuts like a knife....how will i ever heal....i'm so deeply wounded...."

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This song - by Rockwell - can visualize the feeling inside; it's from the movie "when a man love a woman". It's one among the best and slowest melodies i ever heard. I heard it the first time before a-decade-and-a-half ago and later couldn't get to listen to it in all these years. Oh memories, it now brings back those remembrances of mine i've been trying to forget.... Oh memories, my heart breaks deep inside again when hearing this song; oh memories, it's her that i am trying to hide. Trying to erase those memories would be like trying to get rid of black ink from a white rug. Though the stains may be removed and later be less in color, the shape of the stain still remains on that white carpet. It seems like trying to get rid of thoughts which are ready to being born in mind. It seems that this mind of mine has a mind of its own; once i know i can never unknow. I keep going back to the thought that i always assumed that relationship was on its way out because of those reasons, but i never thought far long enough to realize that it was because of something else which is a false feeling. I've told myself hundreds of time that breaking up is the beginning of new transition in life, but it's not easy for me to look at those memories in positive ways. If possible i'd like to challenge myself to lose those thoughts and to show myself how to actually be able to do it - taking advantage of breaking up; to discover myself as a new Me and to make me seeing myself in a whole new light. Right now, though, i just want to make the most of my experiences to be my learnt lessons as possible as i could. I just want to relocate my experiences as memories with visions of what it used to be and let it be just my past sadness and struggle.

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Thus, here i am now learning and taking advantages of it, experiences - and practicing my new Me. I do not regret any of my choices. In life, some days can be dreams and the other can be nightmares; I am part of all that i have met.... !

ROCKWELL lyrics